what a strange few days.
joined an online dating site. regretting majorly. really cannot be bothered with small talk, insane nerves, stupid dates. feel bad because i agreed to meet up with someone on there at some point. he seemed quite nice but. i don't know. maybe i'll just pretend i died. yeah i'll be single forever but i honestly think i can cope. so long as i have plenty of challenges to keep me moving forward. who needs the bother.
in other news, i got my university offer. so that is both wonderful and terrifying, and i would quite like time to fast forward so i can just get on with it. wow though. wow.
this song is too incredible.
anyway, life has been a whirlwind as ever. at work rather a lot, and when i'm not, just hazily walking through life, not blissfully happy but not unbearably sad either. just being. and that's ok.
there is some lovely snow outside, at last. farewell x
Monday, 14 January 2013
Thursday, 10 January 2013
is something different?
hello. don't seem to have blogged in a few days.
life is a really weird continuum at the moment, whilst i wait to hear if i got into uni for the second time in two years. it's a really strange situation. i'm not just nervous about the news i will hear, but what will come after it. namely, i don't have a plan if i get rejected. but i don't really have a plan if i get accepted, either. having a positive experience this time is fundamental, and i can't help but be scared that i'll be plagued with the same horrendous feelings i suffered from throughout my one year at the other uni. the loneliness and homesickness is a feeling which still haunts me to this day. so who knows. this year out has been both positive and negative. i needed the time to breathe and be away from certain environments, and my lifestyle right now isn't so bad. i have a reasonable amount of hours at work, and when i'm not there i'm enjoying relaxing, shopping, seeing the odd friend and so on. i only hope i haven't become too attached to home life again. i've definitely become closer to my mum, which will prove difficult when i set sail again. but it was the uni that did that to me. i was at the loneliest point ever in my life, and i turned to the two people that i'd pushed away for so long. i'd had a boyfriend, friends, teachers that i could confide in and get along with wonderfully. what did i need my parents for? i will always, always owe them for welcoming me back, putting up with the endless tears, driving me back home and so on. i will stop this train of thought now because, quite frankly, the emotions there are still too raw.
anyways, it's interesting thinking about our desires. when people ask you what you want, idk, there are too many different types of answers. what do i want? i want chocolate, i want a boyfriend, i want lots of nice clothes. what do i want in life? well, who really knows. i know i need money to be comfortable, unfortunately. then there is the major clash in my head. one part of me yearns to explore, make a name for myself, reach for the stars. the other part of me says, realistically, if i have a nice partner and a dog, i could be happy with just that. in conclusion, i don't think we ever really know what we want for certain, until we've tried it. far too much pressure is placed on us from a young age - what job do we want, what do we want to study at uni, what kind of person do we want to be. maybe if we all just waited to see how things panned out and stop making such a big thing of decisions, idk. that's what i'm going with. -bye-
life is a really weird continuum at the moment, whilst i wait to hear if i got into uni for the second time in two years. it's a really strange situation. i'm not just nervous about the news i will hear, but what will come after it. namely, i don't have a plan if i get rejected. but i don't really have a plan if i get accepted, either. having a positive experience this time is fundamental, and i can't help but be scared that i'll be plagued with the same horrendous feelings i suffered from throughout my one year at the other uni. the loneliness and homesickness is a feeling which still haunts me to this day. so who knows. this year out has been both positive and negative. i needed the time to breathe and be away from certain environments, and my lifestyle right now isn't so bad. i have a reasonable amount of hours at work, and when i'm not there i'm enjoying relaxing, shopping, seeing the odd friend and so on. i only hope i haven't become too attached to home life again. i've definitely become closer to my mum, which will prove difficult when i set sail again. but it was the uni that did that to me. i was at the loneliest point ever in my life, and i turned to the two people that i'd pushed away for so long. i'd had a boyfriend, friends, teachers that i could confide in and get along with wonderfully. what did i need my parents for? i will always, always owe them for welcoming me back, putting up with the endless tears, driving me back home and so on. i will stop this train of thought now because, quite frankly, the emotions there are still too raw.
anyways, it's interesting thinking about our desires. when people ask you what you want, idk, there are too many different types of answers. what do i want? i want chocolate, i want a boyfriend, i want lots of nice clothes. what do i want in life? well, who really knows. i know i need money to be comfortable, unfortunately. then there is the major clash in my head. one part of me yearns to explore, make a name for myself, reach for the stars. the other part of me says, realistically, if i have a nice partner and a dog, i could be happy with just that. in conclusion, i don't think we ever really know what we want for certain, until we've tried it. far too much pressure is placed on us from a young age - what job do we want, what do we want to study at uni, what kind of person do we want to be. maybe if we all just waited to see how things panned out and stop making such a big thing of decisions, idk. that's what i'm going with. -bye-
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Bona Drag: new obsession
http://www.bonadrag.com/
aw man, want everything from this place. found it through tumblr whilst i was searching jewellery, and wow.
here are a few highlights.
wow, i'm so in love. the themes running through it are everything i love about fashion: eccentric, romantic, punk-rock, gothic, just beautiful. if only it wasn't an american site, all in dollars, oh and also so hideously expensive. :(
aw man, want everything from this place. found it through tumblr whilst i was searching jewellery, and wow.
here are a few highlights.
wow, i'm so in love. the themes running through it are everything i love about fashion: eccentric, romantic, punk-rock, gothic, just beautiful. if only it wasn't an american site, all in dollars, oh and also so hideously expensive. :(
Friday, 4 January 2013
Thursday, 3 January 2013
treats: new things i love
because i am such a fashion/beauty/general stuff lover, i thought it only right to do a bit of reviewing of products i love! so here goes.
17 Photo Flawless Primer from Boots, £4.99
ok, so i've been desperate for a new primer for ages. i've got pretty rubbish skin - greasy AND dry, with am uneven tone and so on. after a bit of researching (Boots website, i salute you) i came across this beauty. i was the first to be sceptical - generally don't put much trust in cheap make-up brands like 17, other than for things like nail varnish and eye shadow. but the reviews were so positive, and at such a good price i felt it was worth a go. all i can say is £4.99 well spent - this is definitely worth a go. plus points about this product: it has the most matte finish EVER. really, really impressive! when you put it on (you only need a small amount), it INSTANTLY smooths over your skin. feels kind of dry, but that's the point - it completely smooths over uneven patches. although i never notice any vast improvements to the overall look of my skin, i do believe it reduced redness a small amount, and also think my pores looked a little reduced. i've only worn it for one full day so far, and, whilst it didn't eradicate grease completely, my t-zone area, which gets very oily, was definitely LESS greasy at the end of the day. negative points: hardly any so far, but i suppose the tube is quite small. also, as the primer is colourless, it can be difficult to see where you've applied it, and it can't be mixed with foundation to alter the colour (something which i do with another, coloured primer that i own). other than that, a really impressive product which i'd give a 9/10 :)
Korres Mango Shower Gel, £8
not much to say about this beauty other than that it smells f a b u l o u s! got it as a christmas present and it's definitely one of the nicest shower products i've ever had. also lathers really well :)
Lancome Hypnose Star Mascara, £21 or as part of gift sets
i was first introduced to this mascara last summer when they were giving away sample sizes with a magazine. all i can say is, thank you Vanity Fair (i think that was the magazine)! i have always battled with mascaras - i've never found one good enough to tackle my fair-coloured, short lashes until now. i was fortunate enough to discover the gift sets that Lancome did for christmas - which consisted of the mascara, make-up remover and an eyeliner all for £21, the RRP of the mascara alone! i only wish i'd invested in more of those sets now! the tube itself is gorgeous enough, with sparkles all down the side, but the product itself is very good. it's all about the brush with mascaras - most cheaper brands use thick, clumpy brushes which are useless at grabbing the lashes properly. the brush on this one is, actually, surprisingly thick, but somehow it works so well. it is almost pyramid-shaped, which makes angling it really easy. anyway, to cut it short, really does draw out my lashes in ways never before seen, making them longer and curly but without looking over-the-top. a must-try :)
17 Photo Flawless Primer from Boots, £4.99
ok, so i've been desperate for a new primer for ages. i've got pretty rubbish skin - greasy AND dry, with am uneven tone and so on. after a bit of researching (Boots website, i salute you) i came across this beauty. i was the first to be sceptical - generally don't put much trust in cheap make-up brands like 17, other than for things like nail varnish and eye shadow. but the reviews were so positive, and at such a good price i felt it was worth a go. all i can say is £4.99 well spent - this is definitely worth a go. plus points about this product: it has the most matte finish EVER. really, really impressive! when you put it on (you only need a small amount), it INSTANTLY smooths over your skin. feels kind of dry, but that's the point - it completely smooths over uneven patches. although i never notice any vast improvements to the overall look of my skin, i do believe it reduced redness a small amount, and also think my pores looked a little reduced. i've only worn it for one full day so far, and, whilst it didn't eradicate grease completely, my t-zone area, which gets very oily, was definitely LESS greasy at the end of the day. negative points: hardly any so far, but i suppose the tube is quite small. also, as the primer is colourless, it can be difficult to see where you've applied it, and it can't be mixed with foundation to alter the colour (something which i do with another, coloured primer that i own). other than that, a really impressive product which i'd give a 9/10 :)
Korres Mango Shower Gel, £8
not much to say about this beauty other than that it smells f a b u l o u s! got it as a christmas present and it's definitely one of the nicest shower products i've ever had. also lathers really well :)
Lancome Hypnose Star Mascara, £21 or as part of gift sets
i was first introduced to this mascara last summer when they were giving away sample sizes with a magazine. all i can say is, thank you Vanity Fair (i think that was the magazine)! i have always battled with mascaras - i've never found one good enough to tackle my fair-coloured, short lashes until now. i was fortunate enough to discover the gift sets that Lancome did for christmas - which consisted of the mascara, make-up remover and an eyeliner all for £21, the RRP of the mascara alone! i only wish i'd invested in more of those sets now! the tube itself is gorgeous enough, with sparkles all down the side, but the product itself is very good. it's all about the brush with mascaras - most cheaper brands use thick, clumpy brushes which are useless at grabbing the lashes properly. the brush on this one is, actually, surprisingly thick, but somehow it works so well. it is almost pyramid-shaped, which makes angling it really easy. anyway, to cut it short, really does draw out my lashes in ways never before seen, making them longer and curly but without looking over-the-top. a must-try :)
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
radioactive
hiya. FYI, my blog post titles will frequently be song lyrics. often with no relevance to the post. just to clarify :)
i am sleepy, weary from post-christmas fever. actually quite sad that it is all over so soon again, really. what do we get excited about now? i never really know. about to head out to see a friend who has been somewhat engulfed by new relationship disease for the last few months, hence, i haven't seen her in a while. really is difficult managing to see friends these days. difficult not to feel a little bit poor-me, why-do-i-always-make-the-effort, but eh.
i'll write something better later. x
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